Ready?
Are you sitting down? lol.
That was the text I got from Vanessa, the founder of Raise the Volume, a couple weeks ago. She asked me to be part of her upcoming fashion show fundraiser, so I figured she was checking in about logistics or asking a quick question.
I’d been busy sourcing Deaf models, organizing fittings, and basically running around making sure everything was on brand and on point. So I’m reading her text, trying to guess what it could be. Maybe I was about to become the surprise model no one asked for.
Nope.
She tells me:
My friend Natasha Verma wants us to go on live news.
Live news. As in, turn on your TV and there I am.
I asked her to clarify and she said it was for Fox 5 News in NYC.
That was the moment my brain said: Oh.
OH.
I mean… why me?
This wasn’t just about me. It mattered, and I felt it.
Vanessa explained that I’m the only Deaf-owned brand in the show, and it made sense for me to represent Raise the Volume, since they support Deaf students with mentorship and tuition. And just like that, it clicked.
So I said okay. Yes. Duh. This is not the kind of opportunity you let pass by. You just take it and go.
But the second I agreed, I felt that deep internal ohhh-shit moment rise up. All the doubts. All the questions. All the “wait, can I actually do this?” thoughts rushed in at once.
When the panic hits
For days, I was wired with anxiety. Sweating. Not sleeping. Brain spinning. I kept circling the same questions:
Do I sign and speak?
Do I only sign and let the interpreter voice for me?
What if they misinterpret me?
What if my message gets mixed up?
I haven’t needed an interpreter in a long time. I work from home. I control my environment. I use captions, tech, and my voice when it makes sense.
One-on-one? I’m fine. My speech isn’t perfect, but it works. I know how to communicate.
But live TV? That is a different level of vulnerability.
Right then, every decision felt loaded. I wasn’t just showing up as myself. I was representing my community. And let’s be real: Deaf people have opinions. Strong ones.
We are protective of our image because we have to be.
We are constantly proving our worth in a world that still thinks limited hearing means limited potential.
It doesn’t.
But that perception can weigh on us. It can shape us, or worse, limit us.
I didn’t want to mess this up. Not for me, not for us.
And yes, writing feels safer. You can edit writing. You can’t edit live TV.
So here’s what happened: I told Vanessa I would need an interpreter and asked if they could coordinate one. They came back and asked me to secure my own.
It sounded simple in theory but kind of annoying. It had been ages since I last booked through an agency and it felt a little unfair because you’d assume they already had a vendor.
Suddenly I was juggling interpreter requests and unpredictable studio scheduling. Live news moves fast and sometimes they give you less than 24 hours notice and expect you to drop everything and show up.
Then Vanessa mentioned they were open to doing the segment after the fashion show, which would give us more time to prepare and choose a date.
Instant relief. I finally felt like I had some control again.
Natasha Verma, a newscaster for Fox 5, ended up MC-ing the fashion show instead. She filmed it and it aired on the 10pm news.
The Fox moment might have passed… or maybe it’s still circling above Manhattan like “not yet.” Honestly? I’m weirdly both relieved and hopeful. Maybe next year. I’m not going anywhere.
So how was the fashion show?
Not gonna lie… really fun. And a little chaotic in the best way.
This was my first runway experience as the founder and face of my brand. Someone should have warned me that being in a fashion show is basically cardio.
Finding Deaf models was not easy. Some were shy, some lived too far, and some were already busy. But somehow, I pulled together eight amazing models: a mix of Deaf adults and ASL-hearing students. Some were friends, some were brand-new faces, and all of them showed up ready to represent.
Fittings were a whole experience. Picture me handing out outfits like Oprah (“You get a look, and you get a look!”) and doing mix-and-match sessions to build cohesion and personality at the same time. A little improvising, a little styling magic, and suddenly the collection felt alive.
Then came show day.
Watching my models walk the runway in Lovecore… wearing my designs, my story, our culture moving through the room… was surreal. I couldn’t stop smiling. And when the audience started clapping and taking pictures, I felt it in my bones.
We belong here. Deaf representation belongs here.
👆 (Banana shorts first photo. Lovecore models second photo. Fashion meets culture. We’re just getting started.)
After the show, people came to my table to buy pieces and it was the perfect cherry on top. I connected with new faces, had real conversations, and even met a lifestyle magazine editor and photographer.
It reminded me that when you show up, the world meets you halfway… and sometimes more.
I left feeling energized and grounded at the same time. Full of hope. Full of purpose. Knowing this is just the beginning, not the peak. And if I get that moment, you sure as hell can too.
Representation requires courage, not perfection.
One thing. And read it twice.
Say yes to what scares you.
Fuck the doubts.
Confidence is built, not gifted.
And the coolest part? Confidence caught up to me on the runway.
Takeaway: Keep advocating for yourself. Keep showing up. People notice energy, not perfection.
Lovecore HQ: What’s Been Happening
My Love’s Gone Banana boxers finally arrived just in time for the fashion show. I ordered a small batch since it was a new vendor, and I’m glad I did. They were fine, but not Lovecore-level. A little stiff, fabric on the thinner side, no fly, and the length was giving “summer shorts” more than boxers. Colors were close, just not exact.
Still, they looked great on the runway and I even sold some at the booth. Consider it a test round with receipts.
Next step: producing them again with a different cut-and-sew vendor, plus socks and oxford shirts as part of a limited collab with Stuart Adelman. I’m feeling bananas about this!
Also, I had to film a short intro video of myself for the show. Brutal. Holding a straight face on camera is… not my gift. Huge respect
to people who can stare into a lens and look normal.
If you want to watch me attempt a confident wink and fail gloriously, here’s the evidence.
What I’m Loving Right Now
(Because sharing is caring)
🍿 Binge: Nobody Wants This: Rom-com energy: funny, raw, and painfully relatable.
👓 Read: Big Magic: Do the thing even if you might throw up a little.
💆🏻♀️ Skin: Third Layer Night Oil: Castor + magnesium calm. Slather, don’t overthink.
✨ Look: Nude Lucy Top: I-am-the-outfit energy. Wore it to the fashion show.
💊 Dose: Ritual Synbiotic+: less bloat, more... bathroom wins.
What’s Next?
I’m teaming up with another Deaf creative for a new collab.
Think denim jackets, but with a Lovecore twist.
More soon. 👀
XO,
Nickie
P.S. Buckle up. Lovecore season is just beginning. 🫶🏼